Tuesday, August 23, 2011

See you later, Not goodbye

This past weekend my family and I drove down to help my sister get moved into her dorms.

Monday was her first day of classes. She is officially a college student.

The weekend was long and short and filled with fun and free stuff and tension knowing that we would be leaving her there.

::Sister:: As you read this, I want you to remember how proud I am of you and while you continue reading I don't want you in any way to feel upset or sad.

The week leading up to my sister leaving, each day was harder than the one before to get motivated to do laundry so I could pack for the weekend or do things that I knew would lead up to her leaving. At one point I had to send myself to my room so I could cry, then wash my face and keep going.

The weekend was like that too. There was so much going on there was little time to think about how she was staying and she wasn't going to be at home the next day. I forced myself to sleep most of the drive home because crying was giving me a headache and while my nose was running I had no tissues.

Today at work, I saw via twitter that she had a good time in classes. I cried. She Facebook messaged me. I cried. I left a message for my MK director telling her about my day. I cried. I talked to my aunt. I cried. I write this blog. I cry.

I don't cry because I am sad. I cry because I am so excited for her and yet parts of me are worried. But my sister is smart and knows how to make good decisions. I cry because a large part of me is just barely too far away to hug regularly. I cry because I didn't hug her regularly when she was here.

Maybe I didn't realize it before, but after this summer I know that my sister isn't just my biggest supporter and believer in anything I set my mind to... she is my best friend.

And so this weekend wasn't goodbye... but see you later. and while the time passes between the now and the later I hope that, sister, you fill the time with adventure and friends and fun stories so you will have things to journal, blog and Skype to me about and things to tell me about when you come back.

I know my house isn't home, but you always have a place to stay.

I love you.